PJs

Few PJ's I often crack often untimely..

Q) What do you call a person who sees a Bollywood movie every week and makes an hour long documentary on it(film) ?
A) Aaj Tak journalist

Q) What do you call a person who writes Ratan Tatas biography ?
A) Mamata Banerjee

Q) What happens when you catch 'Common cold' ??

A) Your "Liquidity" increases

Q) What is common between Sonia Gandhi and Carla Bruni ?
A) Both are women :D

A journalist to Shibu Soren: Sir, when can we expect you to shave ?
Shibu Soren: I'm waiting for the steel price to come down.

News Time

+ Himesh Reshamiya sues AR Rahman for stealing you know what.. :D

+ Minor stone pelting reported at ICLs inauguration ceremony. Sketches reveal the culprits to be, Lalit Modi and Sharath Pawar.

+ Sania Mirza is Dr.Sania Mirza now.

+ Raj Thackrey made chancellor of a university whose motto is "Peace and Harmony"

+ Amar Singh wants to take CAT next year.

+ Researchers say Navjot Singh Sidhu is radioactive and can power 59 Indian villages.

+ Arjun Singh pens a book titled "How to be a sycophant par excellence"

+ And Mayawati pens "A guide on how to erect your own statues"

Sania and Shocks - The Quintessential Vicissitudes !

I believe, in your life till now, you had fair amount of shocks to shock you up. It may be your shocking failure or success in your final exams, your or your friend’s selection into something that wasn’t on expected lines, or for that sake initial terror attacks. Initial attacks because you must have got used to it by now and terror would have become a word of frequent use. And in a country as vast as India which has infinite traditions there must have been a moment faux pas to shock you. If all this hasn’t shocked you in the dearness of past, for sure some politicians or film stars unlikely death or a match won by Indian cricket team would have taken its toll. Shock comes in different sizes too so, be ware.

Now let’s see some Sania Mirza. BTW don’t err and assume she’s Mirza Galib’s descendant. Sania is into something that’s not even remotely associated with what Galib did. And how can I make such disgraceful inept comparison or state the two in a sentence. See again I’ve missed the point... Okay Madam Sania needs no introduction – at least in Indian sub-continent- but let me have the privilege of doing so. Along years I’ve developed this habit of taking privilege in introducing people, so one of my friend calls me the-privilegist-introducer. That’s some sort of a title ain’t it? Such is the intensity of introduction, and many a times it’s just an obligation - to be honest. Whatever lets get back to Sania. So, if I remember correctly she came to limelight some 5 years back with her rapid rise on international stage and subsequent improvement in rankings. I personally believe that she never had mettle to score on international turf, just by some fluke and few easy draws was she able to better her rankings. This may sound highly opinionated and subjective view but you are free to check records. She did not beat even a single decent ranked player till now. However, she did become 33^rd ranked player.

In India people are sentimental to the core. In some ways you can call it foolishness on the riverbank. If you are selling a bottle full of water on a river bank and someone actually buys it, then it’s highly likely that that person is an Indian. So let’s get back to Sania again as we have done few times earlier. Sania soon is burdened of representing whole feminine side of IndiaIndia preserve their brain by utilizing it to its minimal extent and follow Sania, nose-rings are in, and everyone wears them. The fairy tale moves swiftly for a while until a “Fatwa” is issued against her. Did I forget to tell you that she wears skirts on court? In India one other thing is famous as well, a celebrity/sports star in a jiffy starts believing that his/her stardom is eternal. They just take things for granted. And then comes the rude shock; you are out of team your performance has hit a new low, probably beyond nadir. The media that crazily interviewed you now begins to criticize; your sponsors make a volte-face. Common phenomenon in this materialistic world.
(she’s paid too for that). By that I mean, she soon begins to sell cool drinks, chips, wardrobe, hair oil etc. People like her, they like her nose-ring too. Ah! Fashion statement – its called. Girls across

I would perpetually miss the main point of the post if right now I don’t put off the music. Put off or face it, I choose the former. Amid Sania and Shocks of world one hit me this morning. A shock that now Sania Mirza will be conferred an honorary doctorate by MGR university Chennai. Darn! A doctorate for doing something that a tom, dick or Harry would have done better if provided same facilities. I see this as an extension to pseudo-social justice that prevails across India. It reminds me of P.Gopichand who won All England badminton championship couple of years back and Vishwanathan Anand, who arguably is the numero-uno in the realm of chess. Don’t such people deserve sponsorships and Honorary Doctorates? It’s a question to be answered. Social inequities at their best. The newspaper article quotes her “Well, everything seems to fall in place for me now. It’s a huge honour for me. This is very inspiring honour for me. I’m very enthusiastic about the whole ambience there.” Well if you have sensed it right she too sounds quite shocked. All I can say is Indians are unique in a unique way. By the way, she’s not the first one to be conferred with an Honorary Doctorate; she joins the elite league of people like Amitabh Bachchan, Manmohan Singh (this chap actually did his PhD).

I think there should be a honorary doctorate club, where these people can interact on personal levels and contribute to society by selling potato chips and tomato sauce. When they see their career ending they always can join a political outfit that will give a Lok Sabha ticket or a nomination into Rajya Sabha. Else they have the option of hoisting a TV show, become commentator, get paid for blogging etc. Someone rightly said shocks come in all packages, be ware.

Winter Morning

God forbid my laziness but to be truthful, I haven’t got up this early in months. Well its 6:30 in the morning and I’m -unusually- done with brushing my teeth and cautiously pouring a glass of hot liquid we normally address as tea in to my stomach. So what called for this overnight change (if it is)? Yesterday night, it struck me that I should wake up a bit early and probably go for a 30 min jog that I certainly enjoy, and at the same time enjoy nature –that I admire so much– by grasping sky and cityscape before first rays from sun would dismantle the austere simplicity and calmness around.

It often happens to me that I divert my attention and energy from what I plan. For example, I sat down this early to write my experiences this morning but now I’m checking my mails one of which took me to orkut, and to undesirably end up spending most of my time there. However, realization struck me soon and I’m back. In a similar fashion, I thought to wake up around 5:30, get ready in 10 minutes and be running on roads. To my despair and comfort I didn’t get up that early – courtesy – the warmth and comfort I was engrossed in provided by blanket meant for two that I pulled over me last night. In short, I had idle sleeping conditions around me. Whatever. An hour’s delay called for some modification of plan. I would like to discuss issues of waking up early in detail, but that would derail the topic, so some other time.

Yes, so after pouring down that hot liquid in to my stomach and combing hair to avoid that ‘just outta bed look’ I quickly climbed up stairs to reach terrace. As I mentioned in the beginning that I planned to jog and grasp nature, let me shed some light on my idea of grasping nature as jogging is same for all. I want it to be clear for one reason that everyone has a different interpretation of nature and has a different relation with it. Or at least, has a different notion. To explain it better I would say a parallel can be drawn between literature and nature, where in everybody has their own interpretation. Fine, I’m on terrace and try to figure out- where sun is? The next moment I realize, sun was yet to rise. I silently patted me for being able to beat sun. Fluorescent lights gleamed across roads as I looked down. At some distance, I could even see those 60 and 100 watt bulbs smirk which were put on the last night to fight darkness.

I’m not a professional writer or even a good armature hence it’s difficult for me to express few things in words. The atmosphere was absolute and authentic, mist all around, the visibility was low horizontally, while there was clear sky above me. Far somewhere, there was hill, which looked pale now. Towards south were few high-rise buildings –which came into existence recently – that blocked horizon. Cool gentle breeze brushed me and seems to have said something in my ears, maybe a message from nature. This zephyr leaves gives you the fragrance of nature, that lasts only until you are up there. But for that very moment you are in sheer bliss. All this was so mesmerizing that one can start living in such moments. I really felt connected with nature. Nothing was extrinsic. The silence which in general is a precious commodity these days was in abundance. No stereo, mp3, MTV, or spiritual prayers and holy chanting from the temple nearby seem to exist. This silence gives you an extraordinary sense of fulfillment. And to quote the person I don’t remember ‘For a moment, there is no need to question, there is no need to answer, and life is understood.’ Such was the moment. In case you didn’t get try this out one morning.

Soon something bright red grabbed my attention. It was sun. It was sun, it was the very same sun yet it seemed so different with a coat of mist on it. I wish I had a camera with me. It seemed to have been thrusting cool rays of light instead the regular once that warm and fatigue you up. Only a winter morning could offer you such a sun. The semicircle modified itself in to a complete circle spreading across vibrant colours that changed plumes of clouds. You for a moment forget everything, all your tensions, worries, home-work, assignments, projects, deadly deadlines, TV programs that you need to catch, your own inability to better yourself, the competition around, politics, bomb blasts, protests, down sliding economy, bleak job prospects. You simply live in those few moments. The quality of those moments is not quantifiable. It’s supreme. I thank creator for creating nature and such mornings.

Adios!